What a Gas!

Energy Crisis '74 '22

3-7-22

Thank God I was tossed out of my job for being a leper. I can't imagine paying the gas prices now to drive to a workplace to wear a mask all day and be hounded to death for a clot shot that does absolutely nothing for the common cold freak-out except poison you.

The gas prices around my burgh went up 40 cents in two days. $4.40/gallon now, what a gas!

Nobody seems to care. I guess everyone is flush with money, or are too scared about the common cold or the made-up Ruskie war. Whatever.

I just know none of this is new. History repeats, and repeats and repeats, like an endless broken record. Case in point, I was doing my usual 5K Sunday run and listening to Casey Kasem's Top 40 program from 1974 and this little gem came on - "Energy Crisis '74 by Dickie Goodman. Good to know nothing has changed over the last 50 years (except the music is worse and we're dumber).

So, have a listen and a laugh. I've also included the lyrics below so you can really see how this is all just a cycle of crap, and everything old is new again.

We're here at the White House for a special report on the Energy Crisis. Mr. President, have you any statement?

'Leave me alone, Just leave me alone'

Mr. President, what really caused the Energy Crisis?

'Smokin' in the boy's room'

During the crisis, how much gas will motorists be allowed?

'Just enough for the city'

Who do you believe the gas shortage will affect most?

'Helen, Helen Wheels'

Mr. President, the crisis must be solved. What do you intend to do?

'Keep on playin' those mind games'

With me now is the head of the Federal Energy Office. Sir, you hold an important position. What are your qualifications?

'I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker'

Mr. President, have you anything to add?

'Leave me alone, Just leave me alone'

Here with me is the new Vice President, Chevy Ford. Sir, how would you sum up the gas shortage?

'Goodbye yellow brick road'

(Telephone rings)

We have a long distance call from Saudi Arabia. King Faisal, is that you?

'Hello, it's me'

King Faisal, what are your thoughts when you look out at all those oil wells?

'You're beautiful and you're mine'

I have Golda Meir of Israel on the other phone. What should I tell her?

'Won't you tell her that I love her'

Mr. President, have you any added comment?

'Leave me alone, Just leave me alone'

Mr. President, the American people are waiting. Have you a statement?

'I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation'

We'd like to continue this record on the Energy Crisis but we have just run out of energy