My Pat's a Coodle
A Lenten Story
2-14-22
Lent is coming up in a few weeks and my cat and I are thinking up things to give up for the 40 days. I know for sure I want to give up swearing and cut back on my coffee. As for my cat, Rusty...
Let me tell you about my cat Rusty McCracken (he's orange you know), he was an older rescue cat and the only reason we took him is because the lady at the shelter said "oh, I forgot about Rusty," when we were just about ready to leave cat-less. Right then I knew Rusty had issues, and it was confirmed when the shelter said he had his own special bag of food (with his name written on it) because he was on a hunger strike.
That's the cat for us! Forgotten and pissy.
Another problem with Rusty is that he likes to lick the hair off his legs in tufts, only in the winter, as he sits on the heating grate. This results in him looking like a groomed poodle. I swear he wants to look like a poodle and is aiming to wear bows in his tufts (never gonna happen). One time I was so frustrated with him that I said "my pat's a coodle!" I really meant to say my "my cat's a poodle." I have a problem with spoonerism.
But I like the term coodle for Rusty, because that's what he is - a coodle. Of course people will say that he has some physical issue and should go to the vets if he is licking his hair off like that. Nah, he's healthy as a horse for a supposedly 13 year old cat (we don't know how old he really is). He has mental issues instead. That's o.k. We all have mental issues - just look at society for the past two years!
So, I have given up thinking Rusty will give up licking his coodle tufts for Lent. Instead I told Rusty he needs to give up swearing as well. You probably don't believe it but that cat can swear like a sailor. He said he learned it from the cat colony when he was locked up for years. I believe him!
The things he calls me when his food and water aren't just right and when I won't get up at 4am, would make you blush. The boy needs to clean up his potty mouth and I think a 40 day hiatus during lent would do him good. If we both work on it together hopefully by Easter we can hold a nice conversation with each other!
Another thing that would be great for Rusty to give up for Lent, and would also help us is if he learned to poop in his box on his own. For some reason the old man won't poop in the litter box (he pisses just fine) unless we pick him up, shake him upside and place him in the box. Then he lets loose with the turds with no problems. I don't get it.
I told Rusty he needs to use the box properly during Lent because we are tired of litterally (litter box, get it?) shaking the bejesus out him every time he needs to go number two. Lord Jesus, please help Rusty with his pooping problem!
So there is my Lenten story for 2022. I plan on being less caffeinated and potty-mouthed while Rusty plans on being less potty-mouthed but more potty-trained.
I hope it all works out.... little prayers for all.
Rusty is living the high life. He has two beddies, a blankie, two big cat boxes, an ultimate cat lounger, a Chewy.com account, loads of food, cold/clean water 3x a day, toys he doesn't play with, three harnesses for when he goes outside to graze in the grass. a crochet tube for when he gets cold, and all the attention he can get.
I wish I was Rusty, even with his pooping problems.
Rusty does look like a "coodle"