God has your back
No really...God does
2/14/24
On this Valentine's Day / Ash Wednesday it is time I give God some praise. I don't praise God enough because I spend too much time in my own little world worrying and bitching about boring human things such as money; aches and pains; and the macro world of which I have no control.
Money
Yup. It is that time of year for me to shell out a massive chunk of change to Caesar.
Depressing.
During this time of year I always say out loud the quote from Jesus: “Therefore render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s” (Matthew 22:21).
The government "needs" my money. It needs it bad. The government prints up the money. I work to earn money in order to survive (roof over head, food, water). The government taxes my money earned. The taxes go up every year. More money for the government who needs it so bad. But it is the government's money, the government printed it. Therefore I render to "Caesar the things that are Caesar’s."
Hence I write a check for thousands of dollars twice a year for property/school taxes. I pay sales tax throughout the year for any item I buy in order to survive. I pay regulatory taxes on utilities, water, gasoline.
However, there is one tax I currently do not pay.
Income tax.
I don't have a job. I haven't had a real job in five years. Therefore I have no income (or enough income) to tax.
How do I survive? By the grace of God. By God having my back even though I am an unemployed loser (the world's definition of me, NOT God's).
Oh, I tried for years to get a real job. A job society deems acceptable.
From 2016 through 2021, I applied for 422 jobs.
I had 48 interviews.
I had 3 job offers.
I accepted 2 job offers and quit one job after a week and the other job after a month, as both were toxic work environments and not worth the minimum wage I was paid.
I suppose one can say I am lazy. Maybe I should have stayed on at the two minimum wage jobs and put up with the hell. Most humans would have more respect for me if I just "sucked it up" and worked a real minimum wage job (even if it is toxic mentally and physically) and paid income tax instead of me flittering around thinking there is something better around the corner.
But there is something better around the corner...there is God's grace and love.
I have a spreadsheet that I kept track of the jobs I applied to from 2016-2021. Here is a screenshot of the last seven jobs I applied to:
After I received a rejection from the 417th job I applied to (see second line item on the screenshot-Walker Tree) I had enough of the job applying and rejection process.
On line 424 of the spreadsheet I entered the following:
NO MORE!!!! IN GOD'S HANDS FROM NOW ON 1/22/2020
I gave up looking for jobs right before the world was shut down by the demons in the Covid Clown show. However, being the good human I am, I still applied for 5 more jobs during the Covid Clown show as I still had NO faith that God had my back with regard to my daily bread.
Five more jobs applied to and five more rejections.
I finally gave up my fruitless job search on 3/30/2021.
During the Covid Clown show my faith in humanity was waning and my faith in God was growing. I looked to God for peace and calmness amongst the demonic Covid chaos.
My faith in God having my back, with regard to money, grew a little more each day.
I did the work God provided me. I cleaned/painted houses, did landscaping, tended to my disabled/elderly mother - all for cash. Not enough to completely pay my bills and build up my savings but enough to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
My Daily Bread.
Then a few months ago as I was sitting at my computer, staring at crap, an outside thought came to my head:
"You have access to over a half a million dollars"
A half a million dollars? Really? I looked at my checking account and saw over the past three years I was only earning around $4,000 a year doing odd jobs and my savings had dwindled to less than $2,000.
Then I remembered - over the past three years my brother, my sister (Napoleon) and my mother put me on their bank accounts as a joint owner in order to have access to cash quickly in case of their disability or death.
I added up all my accounts, even the accounts where I was only on as a joint owner (I didn't earn the money in those accounts) and it was over a half a million dollars.
God provided me with over a half a million dollars in three years, and I didn't do anything other than sign my name to a few documents.
Technically I didn't earn the money but technically I have access to the money, if I need it.
I thank God everyday for having my back these past few years with regard to my money issues. I don't need a lot of money to survive, I just need to have faith in God everyday that he will provide me my daily bread. It might not be in the "normal way" but it will be God's way and his way is good.
Aches and Pains
I think about my aches and pains everyday. Everyday it seems I wake up with a new ache and/or a new pain.
A couple weeks ago my right ear and lymph node on my neck hurt. I dumped some Hydrogen Peroxide down the ear canal and waited it out. It took four days but the ear and lymph node stopped hurting.
As soon as my ear and lymph node healed, I woke up with an intense rib/muscle ache/pain on my left side. I still have it.
What could it be?
Who knows. The list is endless:
Ulcer
Broken rib
Torn muscle
Hormones
Virus
Cancer
I searched the dead internet for any answers, seeing as I do not go to doctors (see my cancer post).
I finally said "ENOUGH!"
I told God my physical body is not my end all and be all of who I am. My soul will always be greater than my physical body. I told God I would deal with the pain, and if it be his will to help me deal with the pain each day.
Three days later as I was lying in bed knowing it was going to be another crappy night trying to sleep with my rib pain, an outside thought came to me and said:
"The pain will get better."
That was it. No time frame of when it will get better.
I realized healing very rarely happens overnight. I decided to do my part and I have stopped exercising in order to let my rib pain heal. Very, very slowly the rib pain is lessening.
Of course, could the rib pain be a sign of something more dire?
Maybe. Maybe not.
I have chosen to put my faith in God with regard to my daily aches and pains. Will there come a time when I have to go to the hospital or a doctor? Perhaps. God will point me in that direction should that time arise.
Macro / Micro World
One thing the Covid Clown show may have done is woken a few people to the medical cartel's incompetence and many times complete ignorance with regard to human health, the human body and especially the human immune system.
God is the ultimate scientist.
God is the ultimate artist.
Art and science work hand in hand. A beautiful wildflower and its pollination role supports the lives of insects, fruit trees, honey, which in turn supports the lives of mammals and the cycle repeats every year.
If you drill down you will see there is a whole other universe in a wildflower. Humans didn't create wildflowers.
God created wildflowers.
God created the pollination science involved with the wildflowers.
God created the beautiful colors and shapes of wildflowers.
God is the supreme artist and scientist of this Earth. Humans can only try to copy and pretend we understand all of God's creations.
If we can't understand God’s creations we say there is no God, only coincidences and accidents.
The macro world is looking at the world through a large lens. Looking at the world through what the media (TV, internet) and government wants us to see. The macro world with its wars, death, destruction, and chaos is depressing and hopeless.
It is the micro world that I believe God wants us to truly live in.
My micro world is:
Getting up everyday and dealing with my aches and pains.
Tending to my mother and my senior "special needs" cat.
Cleaning, gardening and making things nice and pretty.
Trying new baking recipes.
Creating artwork and having fun with my digital paper dolls (animations).
Working on jigsaw/crossword puzzles.
My micro world is also praising and thanking God everyday for the things he has given me, good or bad. No one wants bad things, but sometimes you need bad things to grow and get closer to God (Dark Night of the Soul).
I have absolutely NO CONTROL with what goes on in the macro world. Little 'ol me is not going to stop stolen elections, or stop wars, or put into prison the people who murdered millions during the Covid Clown show.
I am hopeless in the macro world.
But in my micro world, I am not hopeless as long as I have faith in God, faith that God has my back.
Thank you God for having my back all these years.
Compare Jesus' big eye in the peephole of our micro lives with Caesar's big eye on the macro world's printed money. I'll go with Jesus everyday!
This was excellent and inspiring. I concur, God has our backs. Even though I live in constant pain from an adverse reaction to fluoroquinolone antibiotics, the blessings God pours out into my life are countless. Actually, it took a while, but I realized that this horrible terrible awful miserable crappy experience was for my benefit and then, by extension, for the benefit of those I can inspire in similar fashion to you here now. I'm trying to change the world on a macro level with my new word coincidism, describing people who blame things like medical harm or dead fish downstream from a factory on coincidence. Each of us who are aware of what is going on are ding what we can, and it's working. A lot more people are waking up. A lot more people are coming to the Lord. When everything is going well, most people feel they have no need of God, but when things get crazy bad they do. My experiences with FQs prepared me for this PHEIC pandemic and I recognized it as the same gaslighting I'd been dealing with for decades as it set in everywhere. I do have a meager disability check coming in for now, but I am confident God will take care of me even if they cut me off for being an anti-vaxxer. God will provide, and if He doesn't, I'll starve to death and join Him in heaven. My health is so bad that in all honesty, I'd just as soon wake up dead tomorrow as alive. I'm torn between praying for grace and assistance with the things He's called me to do here and praying for an end to my pain and suffering. I realize I fall far short of Christ and need to suffer some more to become the man God wants around him until the end of time. Not really quite there yet...