Dear God

Letters to the Lord

3/13/22

Dear God:

I've been meaning to send this letter to you for some time. It's more a personal letter than the others I have sent in the past. It has to do with what you told me almost six years ago. Back then when I was on the verge of starting a new business and I thought things were finally looking up for me you said to me one day while I was sitting in the bathroom (go figure!) "the business is not your future. You will be my witness."

Well that was a debby downer! But you were right as always. The business tanked over covid lockdowns (and other concerns), along with it the fracturing of my relationship with my business partner/husband. Since then, I lost another job over vaccine mandates and currently sit here writing letters to You.

So, my question to You Lord is when am I going to be a witness to You and what does "witness" mean? If it means trying to bring people back to a belief in God and to the Catholic Church, well I don't do that well at all. In fact, I am the only one in my whole family that goes to Church. Nobody else is interested. I keep my spiritual thoughts to myself most of the time. Of course I have this substack, which I use to talk to You God. I don't expect it goes anywhere else. How can I be a witness to You when nobody wants to hear a thing I say?

In addition, Your own Church encourages non-witnessing. When my marriage was falling apart at the same time the business was falling apart, I asked a Priest (Jesuit) if I should try to convert my husband to a belief in God since he was an atheist. He said, "no, God does not want us to make people convert." What? Even I knew that was wrong. Jesus said to proclaim the Gospel all over the world. Well, it looks like my witnessing to my ex-husband was a bust as well. He remains a steadfast atheist to this day. I don't talk to him about You or religion anymore. I just pray every night that You bring him home. Is that witnessing? Is that all You need from me in that regard?

Sometimes I wonder if I heard You right the first time. Maybe my discernment was off or satan was spewing something in my mind. But then everything else You have told me has come true. So, I sit here wondering if maybe I am witnessing to You in some regard. How? In what manner? Does it even matter that I need to know?

As I say every night in my prayers, "let me know if I'm witnessing to You." I haven't heard anything differently from You, so I will just keep keeping on.

Sincerely,

Napoleon