Dear God
Letters to the Lord
6-11-22
Dear God:
How do you help someone who has realized she has lived her life all wrong? Every decision she has made in her life has been the wrong decision. That there is no going back and correcting any of those decisions, and that there is no going forward and getting a second chance of living right.
That’s me right now.
I’ve had a great deal of time over the past three years to realize that my entire life has been made up of bad decisions, leading to bad results. Seems like everything I have done in my life has just fallen apart into dust. Not only that, but now it seems impossible to do anything in the future that won’t have that same result. I don’t think I have the capability of making a good decision leading to good results.
I think you know this, which is why my life seems to be at a standstill now. By my “life” I mean my physical life here on earth. I look around and everyone is doing things, making decisions, living life, loving people (or pretending to), doing jobs, being productive, just being what it means to be human. I don’t feel that way. I sit here doing nothing basically, but ruminating on how to live a life knowing that I can’t live a “life.”
I totally get the notion that you can’t navel gaze at your past and all the bad decisions you may have made forever, because that is crazy. I try not to. I realized I was wrong, I’ve asked for forgiveness, and will not repeat the same mistakes. However, what is nagging at me is feeling that I’ve lost my chance at a future in this world. I screwed up so bad, that even You Lord will not give me a second chance here on earth to have a “life.” Of course that notion nuts. But is it?
Maybe some people’s “lives” on earth are basically over before they leave this mortal coil. Maybe they will never have another chance to make a bad decision, because they will not have a chance to even make a decision. So what now? Sit here knowing that the world is closed to me now and make peace with that? That’s hard.
If that is the case, I can’t do that without Your help. There is the old Christian adage “be in the world, not of it.” That’s me now. I’m still here, but not here. I feel like those people on the verge of death, who break the veil and see the other side at brief moments. I feel caught between this world, which is basically over for me, and the next world, which is not ready for me yet. What do I do now Lord during this time?
I know You will guide me. I await your answer.
Sincerely,
Napoleon
Charlotte, Lee and Dr. Obvious thank you for your kind words. Everything you write is true. These comments are the quick answer from God. Stay with the faith, help others, and have thanks for the blessings and even the misfortunes we have.
I'm going to take all this to heart and keep keeping on. Also, God told me today to just keep writing.
Poor decisions are often not having the proper resources for making a good one. It could be lack of time, knowledge, experience, foresight, guidance. If we always try our best though, God will know this.
I was feeling pretty lost for purpose last year in November, but then someone prayed for me to see visions of how I may help others. The next morning I had a very detailed dream that I woke immediately from after hearing a single word. Since that I time I've done researched, and taken action. Now I'm in a place where I feel I have a greater purpose - that is for others and not just myself. In a sense, by me helping others, I (or the Lord) has saved me.
I will pray for you to have visions of what can help bring you purposefulness and meaning in this life. I do feel it requires daily reflection and action.
Direct email me if you want more info on how I'm helping others.