Dear God

Letters to the Lord

4-10-22

Dear God:

Today is Palm Sunday and the start of Holy Week, which is fitting for this letter. This past week has not been too great for me. You know of what I speak and the burden I am carrying. You know of how I have wanted to escape from this burden for almost 30 years and still the burden exists with no end in sight.

This reminds me of the story of Paul (I’m not a big fan of Paul), who had the mysterious affliction that he prayed and prayed that you might relieve him of. In the end, Paul resigned himself that he would always have the affliction and that Your Grace was sufficient for him.

Well, as I was dealing with my burden yet again this week and watching the daily mass on TV, the homily was about this priest who prayed that God would relieve him of his physical suffering. One day the priest had a vision of the Virgin Mary who asked him whether he was willing to carry his cross for Jesus. From that point forward, the priest accepted his physical pains and became an inspiration to other people in a similar situation.

Then it hit me listening to that homily. This 30-year burden was my cross. It wasn’t bad luck, it wasn’t a punishment, it was just my cross to bear in my life. I said right then out loud “I accept this cross Jesus.” No more fighting against it. No more praying for it to go away. No more wishing that I didn’t have this burden. No more running away from it. It is what it should be.

Of course, the devil has to get involved immediately, and not a mere 30 minutes later this burden became even worse, substantially worse. It’s like satan was saying “ha!, you want to accept this! Well how about this!” Yes, in my past I would have riled and screamed at you God about how unfair it all is and what is the point of praying and accepting Your will if things just keep getting worse.

But I didn’t this time. Maybe I’m just tired or broken down. My 30-year burden has broken me down to nothing I suppose. It can’t get much worse and if it does - so what? It’s my cross to bear. We all have crosses to bear. Every single person on planet earth has one. It’s how we react when bearing the crosses that matter. I guess Paul was right, without Your Grace, we can’t bear our crosses at all.

You are not going to take our crosses away, but You will provide Grace to help us bear the crosses, as you provided Simon to help Jesus bear his physical cross on Good Friday.

I accepted my cross, please provide me Grace to handle this burden.

Sincerely,

Napoleon